Homebirth Dads: 10 Questions with Jorge T. Cuevas
Homebirth Dads: 10 Questions with Jorge T. Cuevas
Jorge T. Cuevas is the husband of a homebirth midwife, father of two homebirths, and video producer of “Homebirth Dads: The Dad’s Perspective On Homebirthing“.
1. Why did you choose homebirth?
My wife is a homebirth midwife, so there was no other choice that we felt more comfortable with.
2. Whose idea was it, yours or hers? If hers, what convinced you to agree? If yours, what gave you the idea?
It was my wife’s idea. My wife began educating me about homebirth from the moment we met.
3. What homebirth books or resources did you find to be the most helpful?
12 years ago, I actually didn’t find any resources specifically for the dads before my children were born, which is why I produced the video “Homebirth Dads: The Dad’s Perspective On Homebirthing“.
4. Before the birth, what fears or issues did you have surrounding homebirth (or birth in general)?
Whether we would have to transfer to the hospital.
How did those change for you after experiencing the birth?
Everything went well, so we never had to think about it.
5. What do you wish someone had told you before your first homebirth? What advice would you give to a first time homebirth dad?
I just wanted to hear from other men about their experiences. Talk to as many homebirth dads as possible, and ask as many questions that you can. The more that you know as to what to expect, the more prepared you’ll feel. If you don’t have homebirth dads that you can talk to in your area, now there are more resources available specifically for dads.
6. Which part of the birth did you find to be the most difficult or challenging for you?
Trying to physically support my wife in some very uncomfortable positions for a long time.
7. Did you have support during the birth from your guy friends?
None of my male friends had homebirths.
If so, what was the most supportive? If not, what would have helped you the most?
Answers from other homebirth dads to these questions, and similar questions that I posed to the homebirth dads on the Homebirth Dads video.
8. How was your interaction with the midwife during the birth? What could have made that better?
My interaction with the midwife was fine the way it was.
9. How has the relationship with your partner changed after having a homebirth together?
I certainly appreciated what my wife went through to birth 2 beautiful healthy children.
10. Would you have another homebirth? Why or why not?
Both of our children were born at home, and I will always recommend it, as long as the mother is healthy.
Bonus: Will you describe the emotional/spiritual side of your birth experience from a man’s viewpoint?
The first homebirth was more emotional because it was a completely new experience.
[Thank you, Jorge. I’m looking forward to watching your video and will post a review here when I do.]
Image: Weird Beard at Flickr
My wife and I are considering having another baby, and homebirth has come into the discussion. Who do you talk to about exploring your options when it comes to this? Do you seek out a midwife from the beginning or do you still have regular appointments with an obstetrician?
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I would definitely seek a homebirth midwife from the beginning, even to just talk it over with. The midwife will have regular checkups and appointments during the pregnancy, just like an OB. Depending where you live, there may also be homebirth educators to talk to. If you have an OB that you like, asking them if they have a recommendation for a midwife is an option, though some OBs are not very supportive of homebirths. You might think about finding a doula (birth assistant) in your area and asking them who they recommend, or have them talk over options with you.
Asking an OB if you’re a good candidate for a homebirth is like asking your automechanic if you should sell your car and rely on public transportation.
In what other circumstance would you start by asking someone if you’d be better off taking your business elsewhere?
Sorry if that sounds snotty, its hard to get tone w/ typing. But you really have to consider the economic interest (and potential lack of knowledge) of the person you’re asking.