[This is the latest in the Homebirth Dads: 10 Questions series.]
Homebirth Dads: 10 Questions with Philip P.
1. Why did you choose homebirth?
I was reluctant at first, but my wife was very much in favor of it. During her pregnancy we moved to a much more homebirth-friendly state, which also helped a great deal.
2. Whose idea was it, yours or hers? If hers, what convinced you to agree? If yours, what gave you the idea?
My wife was definitely the one who wanted a homebirth. I came to realize that it was important that she be comfortable with her birth plan, and that the best thing I could do was to support her in her decisions. As we got to meet the midwives, I got more and more comfortable with the decision.
3. What homebirth books or resources did you find to be the most helpful?
Can’t think of any specifically. My wife was giving me a lot of information as we went along.
4. Before the birth, what fears or issues did you have surrounding homebirth (or birth in general)? How did those change for you after experiencing the birth?
I was worried about complications and things that might happen. A lot of unfounded worry, but most of our (especially men’s) understanding of birth comes from media representations. And those are fiction.
5. What do you wish someone had told you before your first homebirth? What advice would you give to a first time homebirth dad?
“The baby is likely to come at night.”
6. Which part of the birth did you find to be the most difficult or challenging for you?
I don’t think anything about the birth itself was too challenging for me. We were not in our own house at the time, since we were in the process of moving, so the dynamics of that (and trying to keep the birth from ‘intruding’ too much) was hard.
7. Did you have support during the birth from your guy friends? If so, what was the most supportive? If not, what would have helped you the most?
8. How was your interaction with the midwife during the birth? What could have made that better?
With our younger son, my wife was already an apprentice midwife, so we knew them not only as her midwives, but also as her friends and mentors.
9. How has the relationship with your partner changed after having a homebirth together?
Having a homebirth led to my wife becoming a doula and then a midwife, so I am now a midwife’s husband, and have become accustomed to late night phone calls and my wife taking off at odd hours.
10. Would you have another homebirth? Why or why not?
If we had any more children, they would certainly be born at home.
[Thank you, Philip. If any other homebirth dads wish to participate, simply email me the answers along with a brief bio to derek (at) naturalpapa.com]
Image: doug88888 at Flickr