Some Brut Executives Need to be Slapped

“Some men just need to be slapped” says Brut.

“Yup. And if the idiots that wrote and signed off on that asinine BS were named, I’d be the first one in line to slap the shit out of them” says I.

Brut’s latest campaign proves yet again that marketing to men involves sinking to the lowest common denominator (questioning the manliness of other men, in this case) in order to sell us shit we don’t need.  And it’s not just shit we don’t need, it’s toxic shit that has no business being anywhere near a human body.

If you’re sheep-like enough to believe all of the hype from paid celebrity endorsements for Brut over the years, you might be tempted to think of masculinity in terms of the psuedo-manly gobbledygook published on their website. Shit like this:

Some qualities that most BRUT men seem to have been born with over the years include:

• (He is) A man who defines his own style.
• He is a man who believes in equality and being true to yourself. He is not driven by what others think of him. His determination and self-worth is motivated by staying true to himself and who he is. He accepts responsibilities for his actions, is comfortable with his decisions, and isn’t concerned about what other people think.

So wearing a mass-produced aftershave will help a man’s style? And playing a game where you can virtually slap a stereotype (a guy in a Speedo, the Old Spice guy, a hippie, etc.) is a quality of a man who believes in equality?

Man, the shit’s getting deep in here…

I also have to ask just why in the hell a man needs to wear perfume?

Sure, you can call it aftershave, or cologne, or deodorant, but the end effect is that you’re wearing an artificial fragrance to mask your own odors with the smell of Brut.

You’re now a Brut-boy. A real man would smell you coming a mile away, and then hunt you down and slap the crap out of you for wearing perfume.

[The Brut Slap application was created by Sigma, of Oradell, NJ, so if you want to market effectively to men, you’ll want to take a pass on using their services. And their Beat Box Symphony application generates slapping and grunting sounds which might be better off used as a soundtrack for a low-budget gay porno flick.]