The true test for a couple who have started their relationship online is whether they will be able to cope with the pressures from real life. The fear of failing in the real world can keep us from moving out of virtual reality into reality.
Couples who feel a sense of extreme compatibility as well as a strong emotional connection over the phone, might not be able to continue those feelings into ordinary life. Especially, if their online relationship has been ongoing for months and even years.
This is due to the fact that when we meet a virtual person, we read what we want to in their words. In a weird way we create the perfect person in our minds, without actually getting to know them for who they are.
The instant gratification that comes with online dating is glamorous and exciting. But what do you do when you want to move from texting to real-life interacting? Here are a few tips on how you can make the shift, successfully.
For some people it doesn’t come naturally to have face-to-face conversations. Maybe they seem extremely intelligent and well-spoken through their text messages, but once you actually talk – they sound like a completely different person.
Especially for individuals who are introverted, opening up in person can take some time. It’s important that neither one of you feel pressured. Take your time by starting with a video call or a simple phone call.
The two of you need to work on getting use to each other’s voice and way of speaking. There’s no need to rush anything. Take a breath and start the journey slowly. Read this to understand introverts in relationships better.
WATCH OUT FOR RED FLAGS
Just because you fell in love online, doesn’t mean that the person on the other side was always honest. Even though it’s a horrible prospect, there has been many reports of online dating members who misuse the trust of others.
There are criminals out there who will never show their true colors online, but once you meet in person, they won’t be able to keep up the act. You’ll only be able to spot the red flags at your first meeting.
If you feel like this person is the love of your life, don’t be blinded by the love. Stay in a sound mind when you finally do meet up. Typical red flags will be when your partner is overtly bragging, being extremely rude, talking too much about their ex, is flirtatious with everyone around you, pressures you into physical contact, or isn’t treating you with respect.
When the person looks anxious and nervous or don’t want to take a photo with you at your first meeting. They could be cheating on their girlfriend or wife.
Don’t overlook these signals at your first meeting. Even though it can be extremely difficult, it will be better to cut off ties with this toxic catfish before they cause even more harm.
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This will be one aspect in your relationship that you’ll be used to – talking, talking, talking. It’s important that you still keep communication as honest and open as possible.
Make sure that you communicate your individual expectations as well as what you expect from each other at the meeting. Communicating feelings is vital to the success of the relationship.
FIRST DATE ARRANGEMENTS
Even though the two of you have been chatting up a storm for the past few months, you shouldn’t act like a married couple when you first meet. Keep it casual and without any pressure.
It’s best to have a first date without alcohol. Yes, alcohol soothes the nerves and makes the event much more fun. But if it’s a special connection, you’ll have lots of time in the future for partying.
A simple daytime coffee or lunch is perfect. It will also allow both of you to have a clear mind. Helping you to assess the situation and the person much better.
Avoid having a lengthy first date. When your first meeting is either too romantic or too long, it will create a false sense of connection and physical intimacy. It’s important that you keep it light and fun.
For some unconventional first date ideas read this: https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/g1033/romantic-first-date-ideas/
This includes having sex too soon. If you truly have a connection, then you’ll be able to work on your physical relationship a lot more in the future. There’s nothing wrong with sharing a fun and friendly intimate kiss. But try abstaining from intercourse.
You might be so desperate in hoping that this person will be the one, that the disappointment of them not turning out as perfect can be devastating. Stay open minded and patient.
We usually put our best foot forward while chatting online. That the real person appears to be less glamorous. Instead of opting out immediately, get to know the real person behind the online persona. When you give them the space to show themselves, you’ll hopefully be knocked off of your feet.
Online couples might face many challenges when they move into the real world. But one thing is for sure, if you follow the above tips and are truly committed to each other. The relationship will be successful, no matter where you are in the world.