Relationships may be tricky and conversations between parents and their children regarding the same can be a bit overwhelming. Nonetheless, having a father to help in this long, enjoyable, yet treacherous journey makes all the difference. The very first thing that a son will use in his dating life is the family life experience, he has at home, along with other influences around him.
The influence of parental love is very important in shaping the future of a young man in years to come. It’s been noticed that modern kids are dating at a very young age. By the time they are reaching their youthful years, most of them are coupled. This is the best time to be thinking about the best dating advice a dad and a mom can offer to their sons. If you are a parent and are wondering how to go about it, worry not!
Here’s how to go about advising your son on his relationships.
1. Gain trust
Before you even start on advising your son on his dating experiences, it’s very important to gain their trust. This will help to smooth the rifts, if any, where you can be honest with each other. Once you’ve gained their trust, it becomes easier for you to share even the darkest of secrets. Let’s take a look at various ways of gaining trust with your son.
- Ensure consistency
- Honest communication
- Participate in their crucial affairs (without getting invasive)
- Eat together
- Be attentive
- Ensure discretion
- Be a real role model
- Take responsibility for your shortcomings
2. Embracing the reality
At some point in life, your son will come crawling back into your arms because a girl broke his heart. At this point, you need to be more than a parent to them. Be a counselor, friend, and finally, the mom or dad. They need reassurance, but it’s the truth that they need even the more. It’s important that they accept and embrace the feelings of being heartbroken.
It’s at the point of heartbreak also, that they’ll ask so many questions than the answers you can provide. Nonetheless, it is critically important to help your son cope with the events following a breakup. You may also want to provide him with some tips on how to get his ex-girlfriend back, one of which involves finding out who broke up with who and why exactly it happened. Also, you may also want to lure him into talking it out, crying it out, and anything else that will make him feel good about himself. Remember, you don’t want your kid to develop a sense of low self-esteem at his early age.
3. First, Be the friend
Before your son even becomes the boyfriend, you need to show him the essence of being her friend long before their relationship goes to the next level. You want to protect him from the emotional burden he’ll bear if he goes headlong into the relationships. This also helps to prepare him for the worst case scenario like breakups. The only way to avoid the emotional turmoil associated with high-intensity love emotions is by creating a friendship flame, which tends to last longer.
4. Nice guys always win
The society today has become overly aggressive in so many aspects of life, including relationships. One thing boys usually forget is that girls will remain constant in their beliefs for a happier relationship. It’s very important that you instill the right qualities into your son for his relationships to work. Ladies want to feel loved and appreciated. The best way to show this is by being nice and affectionate at whatever age. Despite the fact that they say bad boys get the ladies, being cruel and rough will hardly work with the ladies, at least not in a desirable way.
5. Teach your son to talk, not text
The advancements in technology have brought in a lot of goodies. First were the smartphones, and then came Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, and Instagram, to mention but a few. All these are important communication platforms, but not necessarily the best for a healthier relationship. Kids nowadays are communicating more with texts than with talking. It’s important for your son to learn the ingredients of a healthy relationship, and talking is the first in the long list. Let them embrace the aspect of taking their girls out to lunch, or just out for a drink. A guy who talks to his girl more has a better chance than the one who’s always texting and sending her meaningless emojis.
6. Old school still rocks
The age-old astuteness of being a solid man who appreciates and values a woman is timeless. There are so many modern day dating ideas that don’t work. Like we had earlier mentioned, girls are still constantly in their beliefs and thoughts of what a happy relationship should look like. They want to be taken out dancing, they still require you to pull out the chair for them, not forgetting surprising them with flowers every time and again. These are some classic elements of relationships that your son needs to learn, no matter how old they may seem.
7. Respect! Respect! Respect!
Guys are so much into looks than the personal attributes that make up a girl. It’s good if she looks great, but this shouldn’t deter a young man into wanting to know their girl beyond the looks. Beauty is fleeting, but character is forever. So, instead of calling her hot, why not say that she’s beautiful? These are the things your son needs to learn early in life if he’s going to have lasting relationships.
8. Does her mother/father know?
It’s very important that your son recognizes that the girl he’s dating is someone else’s daughter. It’s not in his place to disrespect them by not introducing himself to them, even if he’s only known her for a couple of weeks or they’ve been together her the whole time. This, therefore, means that he needs to take her home on time, treat her with respect, and show her parents that their daughter is in good hands.
9. Love, laugh and forgive often
Your son needs to know about the importance of forgiving often. As much as they’ll have some good times, there will always be those few instances where he has to be the one forgiving, and not just forgiving, but forgetting. In those days when he shows up late, misplaces his priorities, or breaks a few promises, teach him the importance of also asking for forgiveness.
Finally, create memories, not material things. Gifts are good, but most of them have expiry dates. It’s true that girls love to be pampered with gifts. But these cannot be quantified with the experiences your son shares with their girlfriend. It’s important for your son to learn of the many creative ideas of making long-lasting memories as opposed to sharing gifts. But don’t forget to remind him of the importance of sharing a rose on Valentine’s Day!