How to Deal with Male Infertility

Infertility, like all other personal issues, is a taboo subject within the male community. Nonetheless, while you may not find many write-ups facing this sensitive issue head-on, here’s a take on how you should deal with male infertility.

Set your mind for potential shortcomings and accept them as they are. If you and your wife have been trying to get pregnant for at least one year already, but without any positive result, both should man up and woman up, so to speak, and agree to a male fertility test. In this way, you can know for certain where the problem lies, instead of speculating on whether it is you or your partner that has a fertility problem. On your part, a comprehensive semen analysis is required. Only after having received the results can you create a more fruitful action plan.

  • Do remember that infertility is no one’s fault, thus there’s no use playing the blame game. At this highly volatile stage in your marriage, be extra sensitive and compassionate to each other. Always keep your wedding vows in mind: in sickness and in health, till death do you part. You are both in this together and you will need each other more than ever.
  • Seek help from a male infertility support community.  It may sound intimidating to actually join one, but you’d be surprised how relieving it can be to open up to other men in the same shoes, and to be able to share your otherwise bottled-up thoughts and fears, which more or less translates to the following:
    • Feeling like a failure for not being physically capable of providing your wife the joys of motherhood and the family she desires.
    • Being in denial that this is actually happening to you.
    • Feeling like you have to handle the issue as discreetly as possible on your own, sans medical help or moral support at the least, out of fear of humiliation or being left by your partner.

However you may be feeling right now, know that you are never alone in this, as almost half of infertility in couples is attributed to men.

  • Talk it out, whether with your partner, a trusted friend, your dad or a therapist. It’s a tough situation to be in and the decision to keep this heavy burden to yourself is unhealthy and even destructive.
  • Express yourself in whatever medium you feel most comfortable with, be it through sharing infertility awareness infographics on social media, blogging, painting or other healthy avenues. By utilizing safer and healthier outlets, you can keep the following tendencies and behaviors at bay:
    • Alcohol or drug abuse.
    • Displaying abusive or risky behavior.
    • Being hot-headed, short-tempered or irritable.
    • Thinking about suicide.
    • Depression.
    • Loss of interest in activities usually enjoyed.
    • Isolation.
    • Exhaustion.
    • Sleeping too much.

If you experience any of these signs, seek help immediately lest your poor coping mechanisms start wreaking havoc on your individual well-being and your relationship as a couple.

Image: m anima

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