Parenting: How Breaks From the Kids Can Put the Fun Back in Your Marriage
As a married couple, when you first found out you were going to be having a baby, you became overjoyed at the thought of becoming parents. Going shopping for baby clothes, buying the fun little toys, and taking millions of pictures to show off to friends and family was the epitome of what it would be like to become a parent… in your minds. It wasn’t until after all your help left and it was just the two of you left to parent the baby on your own that you realized the realities of being a parent.
It was hard at first but the older the baby got, the easier it became (sort of). But during the process of raising your child together, as a couple, you somewhat lost your sense of togetherness. A lot of couples get so wrapped up in having a child that they forget the closeness they once shared that brought them their baby in the first place.
As a couple, once you realize that your marriage has gotten to that point, it can lead to resentment and other feelings that can destroy a marriage. It is at that moment that you need to make special efforts to save your marriage and put the fun back in your marriage. We are going to look at some different ways to take a break from the kids (that you love oh so very much) and invest a little more time into each other as a couple.
First Things First…
So, taking a break away from the kids means keeping them occupied somewhere else temporarily. Whether it be their grandparents’ house or hiring a babysitter for a couple of hours, do what you need to do for you and your spouse to have some alone time.
In a marriage, things can get very “routine” and monotonous after being with them for so long. It becomes easier to point out the things that your spouse doesn’t do than the things that they do that you appreciate. For each spouse, try making a list of all the things that you appreciate about them. For example, “Things I’m grateful for about my husband/wife”
- He supports all my dreams and ideas.
- She overlooks me acting like a baby when I have a cold.
- He listens to me.
- She never complains about my snoring.
This can be something where the kids stay the night over a friend’s house or have a babysitter watch them for a few hours and you two get a hotel. Once you write down everything you’re appreciative of about your spouse, share it with each other and watch how each other’s faces will just light up.
Psychology Today talks about how when married couples grow past the “honeymoon phase,” they go from appreciating each other to taking each other for granted. Taking the time to genuinely let each other know what you appreciate about each other will take your marriage very far and it even prompts each other to do more for each other.
Go on a Trip Together (Just the Two of You)
Sometimes taking a break away from the kids means, really taking a break! Plan for a couples getaway for the two of you and go somewhere neither of you has been. It can be for a week or it can be for a weekend… however long you need (and however long you can find someone to watch the kids!).
Maybe you want a secluded weekend in a cabin in the mountains with the focus solely on each other. Then again, maybe, as a couple, you’ve been so reserved and careful that you need a weekend to let loose so you plan a trip to Vegas!
You and your spouse can hit The Strip and explore various casinos during the day and at night, get the ultimate VIP experience, just for you two. And there’s no guilt to feel here! Your focus has solely been on the kids and the overall function of your family… there’s nothing wrong with letting the focus be on you every once and a while!
Plan Date Nights In and Out
The key thing here is to have alone time. You can have just as much alone time in the house as you can outside of the house. Of course, see who can watch the kids for a few hours or overnight… but once you have that alone time, make things really special for each other.
If you decide to go out, get dressed really nice for each other and compliment each other on their efforts. That rule can apply if you plan on having a date night in, it just depends on what your date night will be. You all can cook a meal together or just simply order in and watch movies all night… The main thing is that you’re alone together.
Give Each Other a Break
Of course, you love your children but there is nothing wrong with taking a little time to spend with each other. Just because parents need a break from their children every now and then doesn’t mean that your love for them decreases or makes you a bad parent. So give each other a break and get back to the basics of putting the fun back in your marriage.
Photo by Allef Vinicius