Three things women just love to hear:

1. She’s PMS-ing.
2. Is it that time of the month?
3. Are you on the rag?

Not. So. Much.

But men say them anyway, even if not to women’s faces.

And now, thanks to a couple of iPhone apps, they don’t have to say it out loud – they can just think it and still feel superior.

PMS Buddy is an app which allows its users to keep track of the menstrual cycles of women they know, in order to “to minimize negative encounters between those with PMS and those close to them”.

Say what?

Let me back up for a minute.

First of all, PMS doesn’t affect all women. Yes, for those who suffer from it, it’s real. But it’s been so overplayed in the media by those selling ‘relief’, it’s become a cliché.

Second, I’ve known women that have decreased any PMS symptoms they did have through changing their diet and lifestyle. Yes, what you eat and what you put on your body and how much physical activity you get does affect you.

Third, menstruation is one of those unspeakable topics in modern society, and because of it, many girls grow up without any clue as to how their monthly cycle relates to fertility and pregnancy. I’ve met plenty of women (who have not had a baby) that don’t understand it – it’s kind of a mystery to them. Plus, among all the women on birth control right now, how many of them even know how their cycle really works?

My wife and I have had four children, and all but the first were conceived using natural family planning (the rhythm method) – the first was a surprise, as first babies tend to be. She tracked her cycle with a thermometer and a chart, and I learned about the relationship between ovulation and menstruation through that process. It’s not a mystery to us.

Now that our daughter has reached that milestone, she’ll be taught about the amazing power of her moon cycle, as we call it. It’s not a period, or a monthly curse, or a ‘female problem’ to cope with. It’s an incredibly sacred thing – the woman’s ability to bring forth life.

But these PMS apps reduce menstruation to an annoying thing to be avoided:

“Since discussing PMS is not exactly welcomed dinner table conversation, and may lead to dinner plates being hurled across the room, we want to take the unexpectedness out of this recurring occurrence so that those affected by PMS can be prepared and aware.”

And you just gotta love their slogan: “Saving relationships, one month at a time.”

Because the sign of a good relationship is avoiding open communication, right?

Or maybe because people who can afford an iPhone and service simply don’t have the time to talk about those kinds of things…

According to TechCrunch, over 100,000 people use the PMSBuddy service, either on the web, or with the iPhone app or Facebook widget. And the BlackBerry and Android versions are coming soon.

Here’s one more example of how messed up this is: The website has a page for “Stories”, and here’s one recently posted (by a man, obviously):

“What PMS really stands for: Pounding Mens Scrotums”

Yeah, that sure helps… Sheesh.

And of course, if you consider yourself a real ladies man, there’s this one: iAmAMan “will help you with your private life planning … by tracking several girls.” Because of course, men have their choice of more than one sexual partner every night, eh?

What do you think about these PMS apps?

Image: Gonzalo Baeza Hernández at Flickr

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“This video explores our culture’s dependence on technology – not only do we trust machines more than nature and our capabilities, but we also use machines to shield us from natural passages of life such as birth and death.

A family centered birth experience at home seems to benefit the newborn and reinforces the natural mother-child bond. Since our cultural rituals reflect and shape our cultural values, changing our childbirth rituals to celebrate nature could enhance our valuing of the Earth.”

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There’s a saying: “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

I used to think it was just funny, until having kids. Now I see the truth in it.

When a woman is pregnant and her body is working overtime, she’ll love it if you take the time to nurture her. A lot of first-time fathers don’t fully understand the changes that are happening to their partner, and it can be tough to remember to take the time to nurture and embrace her.

Picking up after yourself will help, but I’m really not talking about the house…

I’m talking about your partner and her needs.

4 Nurturing Tips for New Dads

1. Touch her. Give her a massage, even if you only have fifteen minutes. Starting with the neck and upper back, move to working on her hips and the back of the pelvis, and end with a foot rub. You don’t need massage experience for this, just some strong hands, some willingness, and some love. For extra points, heat some water for a foot bath, add a couple of drops of lavender oil, or rose petals if you’ve got them, and let her soak her feet while you listen to how her day went. If you listen to her, she’ll listen to you. It works both ways.

2. Make some pregnancy or nursing tea for her every day. Use 1 part nettles, 1 part alfalfa, 2 parts raspberry leaf, and peppermint to taste (1/4 part). Let it steep for 10 minutes, strain and serve with honey. Make it a ritual, a way to connect with that little bean of yours growing inside her. The tea nurtures her body, and the act will nurture your relationship. I have always made it for my wife in the evening, and we can share how our days went and sip tea together.

3. Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her you love her. Tell her that she’s radiant. Say thank you for being the mother of your child. You could even try to tell her that you like her outfit, but you’re on your own there… I think every woman wants to hear her lover tell her she’s beautiful, and by telling her that when she’s pregnant, you will do wonders for your relationship.

4. Read the birth books and parenting and pregnancy books that she’s been reading, so you can be in the know about all of the changes that are a part of this miracle. I enjoyed reading Spiritual Midwifery, and found that I spent more time looking at the reference stuff in the back than the stories in the front. I wanted to know it happened, and what and when to expect things during birth. I wanted details. My wife wanted to know experiences and feelings and stories. If you both read them, you’ll have a reference. You’ll speak the same language. And that’s half the battle in any relationship.

I have learned that it takes an effort to remember to do these things regularly, but when I do, it makes for a happy, peaceful house, pregnancy, and marriage. Put it on your work calendar, email yourself, or put it on your to-do list- “Nurture the mother of my child. Next action: Make tea and give backrub.”

Show her that you cherish her every day, meet her needs, and you’ll find that yours will be met as well.

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Image via Wikipedia

If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!

I heard that saying many times before I saw the truth in it.

When a woman is pregnant and her body is working overtime, she’ll love you for taking the time to nurture her. A lot of new dads don’t really understand the changes that are happening to their lover, and it can be hard to remember to take the time to nurture and embrace her. Sure, picking up after yourself helps, but I’m not talking about the house, I’m talking about her.

3 Nurturing Tips for New Dads

1. Touch her. Give her a massage, even if it’s only for fifteen minutes. Start with the neck and upper back, spend some time working the hips and back of the pelvis, and end with a foot rub. You don’t need any massage experience for this, just strong hands, willingness, and love. For bonus points, heat a tub of water for a foot bath, add a couple of drops of lavender oil, maybe rose petals if you’ve got them, and let her soak her feet while you massage her neck.
2. Make her some pregnancy tea or nursing tea every day. Make it a ritual, a way to connect with that little bean growing inside her. The tea will nurture her body, and the act will nurture your relationship. I always made it for my wife in the evening, and we would share how our days went and sip tea together.
3. Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her you love her. Tell her that she’s radiant. You could even try telling her that you like her outfit, but you’re on your own there. Every woman wants to hear her lover tell her that she’s beautiful, and telling her that when she’s pregnant will do wonders for your relationship.
4. OK, so there’s really 4 tips. Read the natural parenting and pregnancy and birth books that she’s reading, so you can be in touch with all of the changes that are a part of this miracle. I enjoyed Spiritual Midwifery, and found that I spent more time looking at the reference stuff in the back than the stories in the front. I wanted to know what happened, and how and when it happened during birth. I wanted details. My wife wanted to know experiences and feelings and stories. If you both read them, you’ll have a reference. You will both speak the same language.

I have found that it takes a disciplined effort to remember to do these things regularly, but when I do, it makes for a happy, peaceful house. Put it on your calendar or your to-do list every day and show her that you cherish her.

See also: Natural Fatherhood Defined

Originally published at Eco Child’s Play

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