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From Boobs ‘n Burps, a breastfeeding shop in Brussels

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Because there are so many other writers, both dads and moms, writing about great parenting topics each week, I thought I’d start sharing two links to ‘must-read’ articles each Tuesday (hence the name Two-fer Tuesday).

This week, we’ll take a look at what it would be like to consider circumcision for your daughter, and then we’ll show you how to figure out the optimal number of children for you.

From Woman Uncensored, things that make you go hmm:

“I was talking with a guy friend of mine who’d recently had his first child: a perfect baby girl. He chatted happily about the joys of being a new parent, and then mentioned an upcoming appointment. “Oh, just a usual checkup?” I asked casually. “No, its time for her snip-snip” he replied, equally casually. I was confused. “You know, her circumcision of course”, my friend clarified. Oh, right… that. I asked how he and his wife had come to the decision to have the procedure done on their daughter. Now it was my friend’s turn to look confused. “Well, everyone does it, don’t they?”. “Far from it, actually.” I replied. “But I’m interested in your reasons, so go on”. And he did.”

Now, that post will make you think a bit before making the decision to circumcise your boys…

And from the Parenting Pit, some help deciding how many kids to have:

“Sick of the dilemma? Not sure whether to pass on the baby clothes yet? Finally here at the Parenting Pit we have established a scientific, fool proof method of determining how many children you should have.”

You’ll simply determine what to use for variables, and then plug them into this equation:

Simple, ain’t it?

Image: Randy Son of Robert at Flickr

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Over at Sierra Magazine, an article called “The Great Diaper Debate” has a question from a reader about the effect that using cloth diapers has on water usage:

“Cloth diapers require both water and energy to wash—two things California has in short supply. But disposables come from plastic, cotton, and trees, and clog our landfill. What’s the most environmentally friendly thing a new parent can do?”

The short answer: Most households waste so much water that they should focus on conserving it instead of worrying about how much it takes to wash diapers.

That’s been our reasoning as well. We chose cloth diapers for all of our kids, mostly because of the excessive resources used in the manufacture and disposal of disposable diapers.

We’ve been questioned about the water issue, and I have to say that for us, we’re pretty conscious of how much water we use in general. We don’t wash clothing that isn’t really dirty (which for most people is most clothing, unless you work at a job that entails getting dirty every day), and we don’t shower or wash our hair every day (gasp). I don’t wash my vehicle very often (a couple of times a year), and I don’t water the lawn with anything other than the graywater from our washing machine.

So we’re OK with the water usage involved in cloth diapering, and I completely agree with ‘Mr. Green’. Taking issue with one piece of the puzzle just confuses the issue, when we ought to look at our footprint more holistically – the overall impact of our actions on our resources and the environment.

What do you think? Is the issue really our overall water usage, or just the water used to wash cloth diapers?

Image: D Sharon Pruitt at Flickr

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[I love the fact that there are sites about the art and skills of manliness on the web, but fatherhood doesn't usually make the cut (as far as being considered manly). We're going to try to change that.]

When I was growing up, I had a totally different perception of what being a man meant. I seem to remember it had something to do with how much you could drink, and how many hot girls you hung out with, plus you got extra points if you could act like a bad-ass in front of your friends. After high school, I went out into the world and started working and socializing with adults, and those macho traits were still revered (it might have been due to the crowd I hung out with), but then another one was added: how much money you make.

Having children made those ideas of manliness fly right out the window – the new manly skills I was learning were how to cook for a family, how to feed a family on a limited income, how to wipe a kid’s butt (seriously!), how to comfort a scared or hurt child, and how to have a relationship with a life partner (whether we were married or not). Some of these skills are still difficult for me (the relationship piece…), but others are now second nature – like burping. Burping is a manly skill.

No, not me burping. Making a huge gnarly burp or talking while burping were cool in junior high, but to the wife? Not so much. What I mean is burping your baby…

When they are infants, and oh-so-floppy, getting those burps out is extra important, because if you don’t, they’ll come back up with a load of curds in front of the burp (generally splattered all over your clean shirt).

In order to share my years of burping wisdom with you, I took a few photos to help illustrate the positions. I neglected to throw a diaper over my shoulder in the photos, but you should if you are concerned with staying clean during the burping process. You have been warned.

Burping position 1: Over the shoulder

Over the shoulder is the standard, the classic burping position. Make sure the baby’s head is higher than your shoulder, as small babies will burp easier if they are almost leaning over you. One arm goes under their butt, and the other hand is gently patting the baby’s back. Rubbing the back in small circles is also helpful.

Burping position 2: Over the arm

Sometimes turning the baby around and putting him over your arm to burp is easier on your back. It also makes for more variety, and the baby can see what’s going on.

Burping position 2, variation 1

Laying the baby on your arm, with the baby’s head near your elbow, can also be effective. It’s great for when they’re very sleepy, as once the burps are out, they are all ready to crash.

Burping position 2, variation 2

Put the baby’s head nearest your hand and continue to pat gently. With both of these variations, the baby is ready to be cradled in your arms when burping is done.

Burping position 3: sitting up on your knee

Sitting the baby up on your knee and supporting their chest and neck with your hand really works well for little ones who tend to slump. I find that rubbing gently up their spine releases burps pretty quickly. Note: gently is the key word there. Don’t press too hard, or you’ll bring up the whole meal onto the floor.

Burping position 4: Don’t do this

This position won’t work. Trust me.

Bonus burping tip: Avoid doing this with a baby who has a full belly

Notice the almost perfect trajectory from his mouth to mine – holding your child like this after they eat is just asking for it.

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Homebirth Dads: 10 Questions with Jorge T. Cuevas

Jorge T. Cuevas is the husband of a homebirth midwife, father of two homebirths, and video producer of “Homebirth Dads: The Dad’s Perspective On Homebirthing“.

1. Why did you choose homebirth?

My wife is a homebirth midwife, so there was no other choice that we felt more comfortable with.

2. Whose idea was it, yours or hers? If hers, what convinced you to agree? If yours, what gave you the idea?

It was my wife’s idea.  My wife began educating me about homebirth from the moment we met.

3. What homebirth books or resources did you find to be the most helpful?

12 years ago, I actually didn’t find any resources specifically for the dads before my children were born, which is why I produced the video “Homebirth Dads: The Dad’s Perspective On Homebirthing“.

4. Before the birth, what fears or issues did you have surrounding homebirth (or birth in general)?

Whether we would have to transfer to the hospital.

How did those change for you after experiencing the birth?

Everything went well, so we never had to think about it.

5. What do you wish someone had told you before your first homebirth? What advice would you give to a first time homebirth dad?

I just wanted to hear from other men about their experiences. Talk to as many homebirth dads as possible, and ask as many questions that you can.  The more that you know as to what to expect, the more prepared you’ll feel.  If you don’t have homebirth dads that you can talk to in your area, now there are more resources available specifically for dads.

6. Which part of the birth did you find to be the most difficult or challenging for you?

Trying to physically support my wife in some very uncomfortable positions for a long time.

7. Did you have support during the birth from your guy friends?

None of my male friends had homebirths.

If so, what was the most supportive? If not, what would have helped you the most?

Answers from other homebirth dads to these questions, and similar questions that I posed to the homebirth dads on the Homebirth Dads video.

8. How was your interaction with the midwife during the birth? What could have made that better?

My interaction with the midwife was fine the way it was.

9. How has the relationship with your partner changed after having a homebirth together?

I certainly appreciated what my wife went through to birth 2 beautiful healthy children.

10. Would you have another homebirth? Why or why not?

Both of our children were born at home, and I will always recommend it, as long as the mother is healthy.

Bonus: Will you describe the emotional/spiritual side of your birth experience from a man’s viewpoint?

The first homebirth was more emotional because it was a completely new experience.

[Thank you, Jorge. I'm looking forward to watching your video and will post a review here when I do.]

Image: Weird Beard at Flickr

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