When my best friend found out that her husband had an affair, her life just shattered. Of course, the sympathy goes out to her; but marriage is a two-way street—there must have been a bump along the way which made her husband take an illegal detour.
I’m not making any excuses for her partner’s infidelity, but marriage needs constant re-evaluation whether both parties are adept in taking measures to keep the relationship alive.
To help you prevent any issues of infidelity, boredom or irreconcilable differences, here are three tips to ensure that love is still alive in your marriage.
Both of you had a long day at work. Both of you have issues outside your relationship which can have impact on each other’s moods, affecting how both of you work in your relationship. If that’s the case, you need to find time to let it all out naturally, to be more open in what you feel.
You must not force your partner to open up if s/he doesn’t feel like it. You have to do it at the right time and place. If you
’re partner is ready, you can try having that talk over coffee after dinner, while your children are already sleeping. Try to make the conversation so natural that your partner would not feel opening up is a tedious job.
And when I say listen, just listen. If your partner throws a rhetoric question, do not try to be defensive. Let your partner feel that you will help him or her to work things out, slowly but surely.
- Have some fun.
When you swore to grow old with each other, it does not necessarily mean forgetting those mundane things you did when your relationship was still premature. Remember that it is one of the factors your husband or wife fell in love with you. Forgetting them implies two things—you were being pretentious that time or that you have lost interest in reminiscing the good times of your relationship.
So breathe. Have some fun. Take a day off from household duties or work and go into a road trip with your loved one. If your partner is not up to it, be creative in doing things that require active participation from both of you. Jog together every morning or remodel your house together. It can be as short as an hour every day or one whole day for an entire week.
This leads us to the third tip:
- Do things together.
It does not have to be all the time, but dedicating a certain activity that the two of you can do together will keep the love alive. Remember that marriage is a partnership. Although distributing each other’s roles makes the partnership more systematic, it is still helpful to create a common ground where both of you can contribute.
By doing things together, you discover where you and your partner are good at or weak at. This way, you can find ways to complement each other and complete the job.
Care to share some tips of your own? Post it as a comment below.
[About the Author: Kate J. Hunter is a writer and consultant for homednadirect.com, they do reliable paternity testing services. She is also an avid follower of health and wellness articles. Image: Marcus Hansson]