The common ground is indeed the place for great relationships to flourish – great point. I certainly don’t want a little mini-me (which I sometimes encourage by doing the things I want to do, rather than what they want to do). We need to let them be different from us, and that’s difficult sometimes. I sometimes joke that our kids are going to turn out how we least expect it, and may ‘rebel’ against us, the people who vowed to be the best parents ever… After all, we certainly turned out differently than our parents expected.

It has been interesting to connect with so many other dads recently about this and other fatherhood questions – men are either exploring their masculinity for themselves, or their son is coming of age and they wish to give them the best possible guidance. I hadn’t really considered writing about it here on Natural Papa when I began, but after a couple of posts that were well received, I see a need for more men to talk about it, and think it’s a natural fit here.

Cheers!

One thing I’ve observed is that a boy and his dad don’t necessarily share interests, but if the dad works to find a common ground, a hobby or activity they can do together, that can be a wonderful thing for their relationship. Something active is best!

Unfortunately, video games are counter-productive for many reasons that I am sure you all agree with. They train our children to kill, to be desensitized to violence, and to lie dormant the physical needs that these games do not satisfy.

Learning a healthy respect for nature and life through outdoor experiences and building survival skills is a wonderful way to exercise some of that genetic code. Physical activity combined with outdoor skills and even competitive sports can satisfy the needs of young boys today. Outdoor activity compared to video games, reduces aggressive tendencies and behavioral challenges because children need to be much more physical than they are today; at least 2 more hours of physical activity is needed for our children these days to balance their physical, emotional, and behavioral needs.

In the future, even though the WII has smitten some parents and educators into believing this is enough, hopefully our young boys will have parents that are more knowlegable about their needs to be outdoors and to channel some of these Super Hero qualities into daily life, which can also become nurturing in the care of younger siblings, animals, gardening, building, exploring, cooking, etc.. There is nothing wrong with recognizing the strength in each respective gender without isolating the other.

As fathers today become caregivers, this is a beautiful evolution, however the physical needs of the child still remain and boys have more need to be physical than girls to utilize their testosterone appropriately. I love that a gentler father is emerging in our culture. To merge this gentler father with the natural world seems to be a win-win for all!

To this day, I don’t know if the differences in them were hard-wired or culturally imposed. The biggest difference I noticed was when I first opened my daughter’s diaper (my last child) and found all of those folds to clean! Terrifying.

I strongly disagree with the suggestion that women just have babies. Although it’s true we don’t actively and consciously grow body parts, we do (or don’t) consciously research what to do for maximum health for ourselves and our children. Pregnancy was hard work. Also, it is important to note: a child is a gift to the man that we love. Or should be.

I would like to propose this: the traits that all of you mentioned above are traits that humanity is working to cultivate in order to better society as a whole.

Turning Little Boys into Superheroes – [link to post] (via @naturalpapa)

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RT @AdamShake: RT @NaturalPapa Turning Little Boys into Superheroes – Gender is a funny thing. [link to post]

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