I think you hit the nail on the head – men don’t usually get together to talk about it. I’m struggling with how to empower more men (including myself) to do so. Thanks!

Derek

On point two: You’re absolutely right, and as a father and a man, the most powerful thing we can do is to support our family in whatever way is best for them. Which may be in a hospital… Having also had that experience, I can say that ‘defending’ my family, so to speak, in a hospital was an intense thing to go through.

Yes, the homebirth option (especially unassisted) is not for everyone, and is one that I don’t mention often, as many people have experiences that refute my own. I just think homebirth is worthy of being considered – and unassisted birth is something that really needs to be thought through.

Here’s what I can add from my own experience -

1. Co-sleeping only worked to a point for me (us). It mostly became co-waking and co-exhaustion.

2. Some women are simply not able to give birth without medical intervention. I love the idea of natural (even unassisted) birthing, as have both moms I’ve been blessed to father with. Sometimes though, it’s not meant to be. And at those times our women and children need us to show up especially powerfully.
.-= Justice Marshall´s last blog ..12/1 is Good Men Day =-.

It’s still a lesson I’m learning – to take care of myself. Mothers also need to do that, and trading off with your partner so you each get what you need is a good way to start.

Cheers!

We also believe in co-sleeping, babywearing, unschooling and natural living (less is more, return to nature). I’m glad you added the part about being aware of your personal needs. I think this is especially important to today’s dads who want to be involved fully in family life. Fathers are an integral part of family life and they do things in their own unique way. It’s good to embrace these traits and understand how they work in tandem with mothering.
.-= Christine´s last blog ..Last Minute Gift Idea: Buy a Recycled Bike and Help Chicago Youth =-.

The main thing is, of course, to do what feels right. I wouldnt do a homebirth because I dont feel either my wife or myself have the coping ability to deal with it. On the other hand, growing our own food is something I totally agree with and want to constantly push on people

Remind me at the end of the month to swap links with you when I get my blog set up on the new domain…

I can almost entirely agree with everything you wrote.

My 2 amendments: 1) Homebirth, yes. Unassisted (which I read as no midwife in attendance) seems like turning away from a community opportunity. There is a place for assistance, and I don’t think birth is the place to go it alone. The midwife serves the village, call on her. Leave the DIY/Extreme challenges where they belong.

2) infant potty training works when you’re always outside or in another traditional setting, but if it is the modern “read the cues and get the child to the potty” interpretation, I’ve seen a kid who that caused anxiety in into his 3rd year and actually regressed. Very hard to do in a way that doesn’t make the child overly self conscious of the act, IMHO.

But again, minor points. Thanks for so clearly articulating my approach as a Papa!